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This was written during the 2008 Primary election season, a preliminary to my upcoming 2012 breakdown of candidates.

Vibing the Candidates

First impressions matter, right?  Even if those first impressions are tempered by professional coaching from and media professionals.  Maybe it's just me, but I find the visual and non-verbal cues coming from these candidates very telling.  Here's what I'm seeing in the major contenders:

•  Hilary Clinton.  She looks bagged, first of all, dark luggage under her eyes, that dogged, set, determined expression.  This is a woman on a mission.  Unfortunately for her, she's the girl no one liked much in high school.  And that voice, she sounds like an elementary school principal chiding an assembly called for bad behavior.  She has made a concerted effort to be warmer and more accessible, but to me this approach smacks of insincerity.  Is she qualified?  Certainly she knows her way around Washington, but do we want to be led by a cranky schoolmarm?  Even Billie's charm isn't going to be enough to pull this lady through, in my opinion.  Bottom line:  Hilary doesn't wear well.

•  Barack Obama.  Wow.  Someone tell him his lips are purple.  In a cadaverous, scary, Halloween mask kind of way.  I'm sorry, but that's how I see it.  He's so thin and light, holds his head so high and pontificates so blithely, it's like he's floating on an invisible pedestal.  He's the resident celestial of the group.  I can see him crashing back to earth if he makes it to the Oval Office, and then maybe then those serene eyes will register just a touch of PANIC.  He's an Idealist, I frankly like what he has to say, and the mighty Oprah's on his side, so I wouldn't count this guy out at all, but I don't know how he's going to pull in Middle America.  Did anyone say Obama/Edwards?

•  John Edwards.  Oh my, what a pretty fellow.  So earnest, so caring, so dedicated to the plight of the common man.  OK, so he's a little vain, and he's got more than a few slick trial lawyer tricks up his sleeve, but I like the guy.  He's the anti-Reagan, the champion of Trickle Up Economics.  I could see him jiving pretty well with foreign leaders, he's got country charm like Dubya without his synaptic connection issues.  I smell a Veep, maybe even a Pres here.

On the Dark Side of the Moon, the Republicans:

•  Mitt Romney.  Mitt Romney?  MITT?  Are we electing a Labrador Retriever?  God he's cute.  And he KNOWS it, even more than Edwards does.  Swooney cute.  If I were 20 years younger I'd do him in a heartbeat, then QUICKLY get up and go home before he goes all Mormon on my ass.  But I digress.  This is a man without a center, and he's already got that deer in the headlights look when he gets into a pickle, as in a question he can't answer or an issue he's "changed his mind" about.  His campaign is big on negative advertising, which is Mitt's version of "I know you are but what am I".  Go fetch Mitt, preferably outside the Oval Office.  Perhaps you could catch a frisbee in your teeth on the White House lawn.  Meow.

•Rudi Giuliani.  Mamma mia.  I know about Rudi, since I've been a Metro New York Area resident for over 30 years.  This man is a no-nonsense administrator who knows how to get things done.  He scares me more than a little bit.  He turned Manhattan around and frankly he could do the same with the U.S., but in a Dr. Strangelove kind of way.  He's very into having a major butt-kicking machine behind him.  Did anybody say Global Thermonuclear War?  He's smart and dangerous.  Could he be elected?  Yeah, maybe.

•Mike Huckabee.  This guy really gets to me.  He's so centered, he knows exactly who he is and what he believes, and he oversees the frenzied, desperate campaign circus atmosphere with enviable good-natured aplomb.  He brings a comfortable, down-home savvy to this race, and I've got to give him credit for being a really decent human being through and through.  Could he win?  Yep.

•John McCain.  You've gotta love this guy.  He's been through it all, and he's so reasonable and long-suffering.  But what's with the left side of his face?  I know he had a melanoma removed, but the left side of his face looks like he has an orange stuffed in his cheek.  I like John, I always have.  He's a solid citizen, and hasn't wavered in his platform one iota.  Like that?  Iota?  Got that from my mother.

The other guys.  To me the rest of them are a blur, like bodies writing in some kind of political limbo - occasionally a face will surface briefly,  Ron Paul will whine stridently, Fred Thompson will do his best Spencer Tracy in Inherit The Wind impression or Gov. Richardson will beam beneficently, but no one from the rest of the pack has found his way into my consciousness.

But what about the ISSUES?  Oh, those.  Yeah, those are important, and my son is fond of reminding me that we need to focus on the issues and not personality.  But we also need to like and trust our President, and be willing to follow him or her into the fray.  In my opinion we're voting for a package, not just a set of issues.

The Caucusers of Iowa are preparing for their political aerobics tonight, the media is poised, and maybe a portion of the U.S. citizenry gives a crap.  So...